


A Sight Only Him Could See

by eleveninetynine



Series: you and i are endless [2]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mention of abuse, Mentioned Kang Daniel, Post-Break Up, a bit of Ahn Hyungseob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 12:46:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16387994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleveninetynine/pseuds/eleveninetynine
Summary: Park Woojin. That’s a name he hasn’t heard in years. The name he has deleted in his phone, the name his friends has known since long ago not to bring up, the name he has stopped chanting in his head for a while now, the name he wanted and had almost forgotten – until name’s owner reveals himself in front of him today.





	A Sight Only Him Could See

**Author's Note:**

> The characters are aged up in this story. As of 2018 (present time), 2park are 25 in korean age.

_[July 2018]_

“One iced americano please.”

 

The cashier takes a paper cup from the side with one hand and holds up an opened marker with another. “And your name sir?” she asks.

 

“Park Jihoon.” Jihoon says without lifting his gaze from his phone.

 

The cashier presses skilfully on the screen in front of her. “That will be 5000 won.”

 

Jihoon gives her the black card readied in his hands, eyes finally looking at the part-timer. The girl slides his card once and returns it along with his receipt. “Please wait at the side for a while. Your drink will be done shortly. Thank you.” She says her rehearsed speech with a rehearsed smile. Jihoon just nods and moves aside beside the customer who is still waiting for his order.

 

Jihoon lifts his head to ask the customer to move a bit and give space for him to wait too but he is greeted with a face he is not sure if he is glad to see. The slightly taller man seems to have realised his presence before he did and is already wide-eyed and jaw hanged open.

 

“Mr. Park Woojin!”

 

The call from the barista pulls both of them from their shock. Woojin’s movements are stuttered, not really sure what to do in the situation. Jihoon just looks at him going a step backwards and fro, not really sure what to think of it because he himself has not processed the whole situation. Woojin ends up went to the end of the counter to retrieve his order.

 

 _Park Woojin._ That’s a name he hasn’t heard in years. The name he has deleted in his phone, the name his friends has known since long ago not to bring up, the name he has stopped chanting in his head for a while now, the name he wanted and had almost forgotten – until name’s owner reveals himself in front of him today.

 

Jihoon stares at tanned man receiving his drink from the barista. That’s the face he once had as his home and lock screen, the face that occupied most of the space in his gallery, the face he saw in his dreams almost every night that it had become his worst nightmare, the face he wanted and had almost forgotten but now it has been carved again in his mind– no, it has always been carved but the haze covering it has been blown away.

 

He sees Woojin comes back with his drink looking unsure. He does not realise he has been staring at him since earlier. They stare at each other for a while until the unwanted open his mouth.

 

“Jihoon.”

 

 _Fuck._ How does his name still roll off beautifully from his tongue? Why does his heart still skip a beat hearing his name from his beautiful deep voice? Jihoon’s sight suddenly becomes blurry– not that he realises.

 

Until Woojin panics on him. “Wait, _fu_ \- Jihoon are you alright?” Woojin stretches his free hand to Jihoon’s shoulder and that is when Jihoon snaps out of his inner voices. He yanks away Woojin’s hand as if the touch is something poisonous which surprises himself. He thought he has forgotten all the bitter feelings, all the resentment he had towards Woojin which is why the rage growing inside of him now catches him by surprise.

 

Woojin flinches and for a second there Jihoon thought he sees sadness in his eyes but he pushes the thought to the back of his mind. The raven hair takes a deep breath to compose himself to say something.

 

“Mr. Park Jihoon!” Saved by the barista.

 

Jihoon takes the chance to take his americano in haste and walk away but is blocked by a faster Park Woojin. He tried to swiftly dodge but the taller was more agile. Woojin’s free hand tries to reach Jihoon’s arms but one glare from him is enough for Woojin to stop his intent.

 

Jihoon release a heavy sigh when he realises that they are both behaving like kids so he tries to solve the matter like an adult that he is. “Move.”

 

Woojin does not cower from Jihoon’s death glare. If anything, Woojin is actually gazing softly at the latter. “It’s been a while. Let’s talk for a bit.”

 

“What makes you think I want to?”

 

“Jihoon, _please_.”

 

Jihoon hates that even after years, he is still weak to Woojin’s pleads.

 

He keeps his glare as he relents.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_[April 2010]_

“Hi, everyone! My name is Park Nayul. I can…”

 

Woojin is supposed to listen to the classmate in front him introducing herself but he is too busy trying to calm down and rehearse his speech in silence. This is the first day of high school, his first day of school in Seoul and this was the thing that he dreaded most; introducing himself in front of everyone. He keeps rubbing his sweaty palms on his fidgeting legs until the teacher calls, “Next!”

 

He stands up carefully and tries to stay calm. He can feel all eyes are on him and decided to just look at the teacher’s table. Woojin takes a deep breath and says, “Hello, my name is Park Woojin. I’m—” He is interrupted by the sound of constricted laughs and quiet mumbles from his classmates.

 

This is why he didn’t want to do public introductions; people will know he is from the south, Busan. It is just impossible for him to hide his accent even after practicing hundreds of times when this is just his second week in the city.

 

Well, it looks like he is busted so there’s no reason for him to hide them anymore. He fires his words rapidly, “Yeah I’m from Busan and I dance. Hope we can get along.” He sits down in a rush, refuses to meet any eyes nor listen to any sounds.

 

But the hushed talks become too loud for him not to notice when the person behind him stands up. He looks back to see what all the ruckus is about and _oh_.

 

Full red lips, perfectly sculptured nose, apple cheeks and long eyelashes. But his eyes, what’s the deal with the dude’s eyes? They literally _sparkle_.

 

With just one smile, he swipes everyone off their feet.

 

“Hi guys! I’m Park Jihoon.” Even his voice is pretty. “And I guess I dance too…” He suddenly looks at Woojin and the latter holds his breath. “Just like Woojin.”

 

And Woojin knows he is fucked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_[November 2014]_

Woojin opens the door exasperatedly as he is interrupted from his game. The irritation turns into panic when he finds that the person at his best friend with red eyes.

 

“Niel-hyung broke up with me?” Jihoon says uncertainly with a slight grin but anyone could see that he feels anything but happy with his glistened eyes and stiff face.

 

Woojin is rendered speechless for a second before opening his arms for the shorter. Jihoon slowly takes his step to hide his face on Woojin’s shoulder and lets the younger wrap him with a warm embrace. He tries to not make a sound but Woojin can feel dampness through his shirt. He sighs and slowly brings his best friend inside and closes the door.  

 

He glances at the boy sitting at the edge of his bed, fisting the edge of the mattress trying to hold himself from crying and look calm while he fixes a hot chocolate on the pantry. This would be Jihoon’s fourth break up since they first met in high school four years ago. So this is fairly a familiar scene to him, seeing his most treasured person trying to act like everything is okay, everything will be okay. But every time this happens, it pains Woojin a little bit more.

 

Woojin approaches Jihoon and offers him a mug in which the latter accepts with both hands. His beautiful sad eyes widen at the sight of the content. “You’re lucky I still have some marshmallow stashed away.” And Jihoon’s tear glands are activated.

 

Woojin learned the marshmallow trick on the third break up, just before their high school graduation. The first time Jihoon busted in tears at his offering of hot chocolate and marshmallow, he repeats _‘Oh my god, Jihoonie I’m so, so sorry please stop crying I’m really sorry.’_ like a broken record. Only after minutes of apologising and sobbing, Jihoon wails _‘Hot chocolate with marshmallow is my favourite, how did you know?’_ and started crying hard again.

 

It hurts seeing Jihoon crying his heart away but knowing that he is trying to keep the sadness to himself hurts even more.

 

Woojin moves to Jihoon’s side and place the latter’s head gently on his chest while hugging him. He strokes his soft hair to encourage the blonde to let it all out. His shirt may be wet with tears and snot which usually makes him uncomfortable but he couldn’t care less about any of that as long as he can help Jihoon feel better. The room is only filled with sobs for minutes.

 

When it sounds like the older has relatively quiet down, Woojin pulls back a bit from the embrace. “Drink the hot chocolate. You’ll feel better.” he says while guiding the smaller hands holding the mug to the plump lips. Jihoon follows his orders quietly and stared at the floor, trying to calm himself.

 

He is still hiccupping the remnants of his crying when he says, “He was very nice yo— you know.” Woojin looks at him, a hand wrapping the older while stroking his arm. “He was very kind and— and very considerate towards me too. I had fun with him and can talk with him about so many things. I thought everything was going well but he just— he said he didn’t like me anymore.” Tears start falling again. “He even apologises so many times because he felt bad.” Jihoon laughs sadly.

 

Woojin’s instinct is to kiss away the tears immediately but he holds himself back and tightens his hug.

 

Jihoon is beautiful. Everyone knows that. Even strangers who pass by him know that. But somehow that puts an invisible warrant on him for every bad guy to approach him. Bad guys who want him as a trophy, as a pretty prize beside them only to brag and show off when he is so much more.

 

Even after Woojin’s constant nagging and lectures about the bad wolves he was with, it took Jihoon three horrible break ups— especially the worst last which actually physically injured him rather than just emotional scars (Jihoon practically had to beg Woojin to not thrash his ex so he flew only one punch, one that made the other unconscious)—to realise that the pretty face is actually more of a curse than a gift.

 

The realisation changed Jihoon. While he is still the dork that he is with close friends, he became cold and reserved with new people and even acquaintances. Being bad-mouthed is never as bad as being hurt. It hurt Woojin to see the once bright and affable Jihoon became very guarded and silent.

 

That was when Daniel came into picture. The cute puppy-like senior who everybody adores, boys and girls alike. And he wasn’t exactly hiding the fact that he had eyes for pretty boy Jihoon since the first day of university’s orientation. It annoyed Jihoon to the max as it brought back bad memories. It took Daniel more than a year of constant convincing to gain Jihoon’s trust and get together with him.

 

Woojin had his suspicions for the senior at first but even he couldn’t deny that Daniel was the sweetest person in the campus. But he may have changed his mind when Daniel dumped his best friend only seven months after, kindly or not. He doesn’t get it. The real Jihoon, quirky and funny Jihoon is much more better than the superficial Jihoon that people see.

 

After moments of silence, Jihoon quietly asks, “Am I not good enough?”

 

It’s reflex when he grabs both the older’s red cheeks. Jihoon does not even flinch. Instead he stares Woojin’s firm eyes with his own empty ones.

 

“Jihoon, you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re cool and beautiful. I’m saying this as someone who has been with you for a long time and has seen so many of your flaws—you are perfect as perfect can be.” The words flow smoothly as they are the words he keeps sincerely in his heart. He notes how Jihoon’s eyes soften before he averts them to the hot chocolate in his hands.

 

“Then why does everyone leave?” he asks, frustrated and almost giving up.

 

Woojin slightly lifts Jihoon’s face to get his attention. The younger gazes into the eyes that holds constellations, now dimmed with doubt and hopelessness. They are not supposed to be like that. They are supposed to shine brightly, enthralling people who see them. So he pours his heart to his next words in hopes it will bring back their lights. And maybe ease his yearning heart.

 

“Their eyes are not meant to see you. But you will find the ones that are. You will.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_[June 2015]_

 

“Thanks for the _bingsu_ , losers!” Jihoon yells to a group of shirtless boys who are walking away. One of them lifts his middle finger up high, another yells back a ‘ _Fuck off, Park Jihoon!_ ’ and the others just groan.

 

He pays no attention towards the sulking shirtless boy beside him and finishes his precious _bingsu_ all by himself. _Bingsu_ in the middle of summer— _heaven._

 

“See you later, Jihoon.” says Hyungseob, one of his shirt-on team member, leaving the beach with a volleyball at his side. Jihoon just nods, still ravishing his the remaining of his shaved ice. “Bring more money tomorrow, Woojin! I’ll be needing it.”

 

Woojin is getting up to chase the laughing Hyungseob when Jihoon grabs his hand and sits him on the sand again. “Now, now. Calm down. Don’t be a sore loser.”

 

The shirtless glares at him but Jihoon just gives him the empty plastic bowl and spoon. He groans but gets up anyway to throw away the trash. When he comes back, Jihoon is already heading to the sea with sun setting in front him.

 

It’s a painting, really. It can’t be real when the most beautiful man, who is walking on the beautiful Haeundae beach, with skin glowing beautifully from being showered by the golden light of dusk. Even from the back, it is almost like the world bows to his beauty, greeting him with the best scenery for his presence.

 

Woojin watches as Jihoon turns back searching for someone. He doesn’t say a word even if he knows the latter is looking for him.

 

Because when Jihoon finally sees him, he indulges on the how pretty the corners of Jihoon’s mouth slowly upturn, and finally shows his pretty toothy smile. Woojin takes pride in it, in the ability to make his treasured smile.

 

Jihoon waves enthusiastically. “Woojin! Over here!” Jihoon shouts.

 

Woojin ducks his head hiding his smile as he jogs to Jihoon. They walk along the beach side by side, hand brushing on the other.

 

“Why haven’t you put your shirt on yet? There’s nothing to show off when you can’t even play volleyball properly.” Jihoon says, cheeks dusted with pink and eyes at the sea.

 

Woojin mischievously hops in front of Jihoon with all the glory of his bare and toned torso, walking backwards as he says, “Just admit you like the view, hun.”

 

Jihoon shifts his body towards the sea. “Yeah, the view in Haeundae is absolutely stunning.”

 

Woojn glares at the shorter while Jihoon slowly eyes the taller and they burst laughing. Jihoon opens his palm with warm eyes gazing upon him and Woojin can’t help but gladly accepts the hand.

 

They walk together with interlocked hands in comfortable silence. Legs slightly dipped in the warm soft sand, the eventual chilly breeze hitting his body, the warmth radiating from the older, the firm trusting grip from him—everything just feels so overwhelming that he unconsciously sighs.

 

“What’s wrong?” Jihoon asks.

 

“I just…” Woojin stop his tracks in which Jihoon follows. He turns to his side to look at the eyes of the person who holds his heart. It gets even more beautiful every time he looks at them, even more captivating each time. “…I still can’t believe that you’re here, with me.”

 

He can’t believe he finally got the chance to be the closest person to Jihoon. The one to capture his every moment, good or bad, exciting or mundane. The one to memorise all his emotions even when he thinks he’s hiding them. The one whom he will trust and rely on every happy and sad days.

 

Jihoon giggles. “It still hasn’t hit me yet too but it feels… right.” He looks at Woojin happily. “Like you’re the one here with me at the beach…” He lifts their interlocked hands and kisses the younger’s knuckles. “…and it’s your hand in mine…” He takes a step closer to the taller that their noses are only an inch far, clutching their hands to his chest. “… and how my heart is beating so fast for you right now. Everything just feels right.”

 

Woojin feels weak in the knees at the confession and can’t help connecting their foreheads to stabilise himself. He smiles, maybe too wide but he doesn’t care because he just feels overjoyed that the boy that he has long yearned for finally feels his.

 

He makes sure their eyes meet when he says, “I’m so glad I'm the one who is meant to see you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_[July 2018]_

They sit across each other, eyes looking everywhere and anywhere but the other. Jihoon takes a sip of his americano each time their eyes accidently meet. Woojin leaves his caramel macchiato untouched. They stay like that in silence for several minutes.

 

Jihoon sees the man in front him takes a sip of his drink and he knows that it’s time to talk.

 

Woojin is the one to break the ice. “How are you?”

 

It takes Jihoon a while to draft his answer, to make sure his answer sounds as civilised as it can. “I’m doing good.” Civilised but short, unwilling to share details of his life. “You?”

 

“I’m doing fine.” As expected from Woojin, to answer the same span as the other. That part hasn’t change.

 

“So, you’re back in town?” It’s a question that has been playing in his head since they met just now even though he is both wanting and not wanting to know the answer.

 

“I had some business here and decided to stay longer, just to see around. But I’m not staying for good.”

 

That’s a relief.

 

“And I was hoping to see you.”

 

Jihoon feels his heart drops.

 

He had imagined thousands of times of what it could be when they meet again, how would he feel. Every time he imagined a situation it never felt better than the other. And now the real thing is happening, the agony is not the same, not even one bit.

 

He just looks at the younger, not wanting to say anything because he is afraid that his voice will break.

 

It seems like the younger understands, so he starts.

 

“I’m sorry, Jihoon. I’m really sorry.”

 

Jihoon lets tears roll down his cheeks. Woojin sees but doesn’t do anything. It’s not his place. Not anymore.

 

“I know this is long overdue but I just want you to know that I’m really sorry. For leaving you without a word, without a trace. I just… really am sorry.”

 

And what can Jihoon say to that?

 

Should he tell Woojin how that morning he woke up to the emptiness beside his bed? How he waits for his messages to be read or his calls to be answered? How he knocks to Woojin’s old apartment door god knows how many times every day until he found out that the house is already empty? How he desperately asks everyone he knew that knew Woojin to at least hint him that he was alive so that he could at least breathe to live the next day?

 

Or should he tell him how he cried everyday yearning for his return? How everyday after that he cried in spite of himself, telling himself that it was his fault that Woojin’s gone? How he woke up every night crying because each dream showed Woojin who appeared miraculously in front of him but was gone when he opened his eyes?

 

How the crying changed from cries of sadness to cries of hatred to cries of self-hate to cries of pity, pity of himself because he was left by his own best friend and lover.

 

Left by the one who could see him.

 

He swallows every word he has dreamt to say and only shakily says, “Why?”

 

Woojin is silenced for a while and tries to say something but words are stuck in his throat. For a couple of times he opens his mouth but the word never leaves.

 

Jihoon realises that even if he knew the answer, it won’t change anything. It won’t change the fact that now he is still afraid to meet people because he is afraid of getting hurt. It won’t change the fact that he can never be genuine with others because of the distrust he has to other people.

 

And he can never love again because he knows no one will love him.

 

Jihoon wipes away the tears on his cheeks with his bare hand and rises from his seat.

 

“Thank you for finally saying it, Woojin.”

 

He finally let goes of his shattered heart and walks out of the café.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Epilogue_

Woojin watches as Jihoon exits the café. He is still as beautiful as he remembers, even when he cries. He stares emptily at the uninviting caramel macchiato in front of him and the half empty americano opposites it. He drinks his drink until it’s empty.

 

He looks at the americano again, watches as the water at the surface of the cup slides down, one by one. It relives the memory of Jihoon crying a river in front of him just minutes ago.

 

It hurt seeing Jihoon cried years ago, it hurts seeing him cry now. It hurts more when he knows that he is the reason why. And it hurts even more because he does it knowingly.

 

Because every time he realised that the beautiful Jihoon was his, he died a little more inside. Every time he was awed by how perfect Jihoon was, his fear grew stronger.

 

Because the more he saw Jihoon, the less he saw himself. And Jihoon doesn’t deserve less.

 

Woojin leaves a piece of his heart and walks out of the café.

**Author's Note:**

> Angst is hard to write T_T i'm a sucker for angst but it is still so hard to write. My greatest kudos to all angst writers uwu. Do comment all the criticism you have so that I can improve in the future :)


End file.
